You want to raise emotionally intelligent kids — so where do you start? The good news is that, although helping your kids develop emotional intelligence can be a challenge, the effort is more than worth it. Learning to identify, express and manage their emotions sets children up for success in life.
Emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) is the ability to identify, understand, and manage your emotions in healthy and positive ways that allow for getting along with others, achieving goals, and overcoming obstacles. Studies suggest that EI has a direct impact on academic achievement, mental health, physical health, relationships, and other aspects of wellbeing.
Tips for Parents
1. Model emotional intelligence yourself.
How you manage and cope with your own emotions sets the tone for the entire household. Even younger children are very observant and pay attention to the behaviors modeled by their parents. Talk to your kids about emotions and how you manage yours. This provides them with an understanding of what it looks like to respond to and manage emotions in healthy ways.
2. Validate your children’s emotions.
Not being able to identify and label emotions can be incredibly frustrating. Let your children know that whatever they’re feeling is OK. Give them the words to name what they are experiencing. This is a great starting point for teaching them emotional intelligence.
3. Teach basic problem-solving skills.
Teach your children to take breaks, breathe, and identify solutions to the problems they are facing. Skills like problem-solving, delaying gratification, collaboration, and conflict resolution are the foundation of emotional intelligence. Talk to them about the available options and help them choose one that best fits the situation.
4. Promote positive self-talk.
Words have power— Encourage your children to talk to themselves in positive, productive ways. Help them see their mistakes as learning opportunities and to have a growth mindset. Remind them of their strengths and successes rather than focusing on their failures.
5. Encourage self-regulation.
Self-regulation means learning to manage impulses, tolerate frustration, and calm down when angry. Teach your children strategies such as deep breathing, counting to 10, or going to a quiet place to cool down. Above all, try to be supportive and encouraging.
Conclusion
In summary, emotional intelligence has a significant impact on children’s ability to function productively in work, educational, and social settings. Showing them how to recognize and manage their emotions can help them become more resilient, confident, and successful adults. With these tips in mind, you are well on your way to helping your children build emotional intelligence.
